It occurred to me recently that fitness is a huge part of my life and yet, other than a few race reports, I rarely share that here on the blog. I run, I bike, I swim, and I, like thousands of other moms, have to figure out how to fit it all in. I figure that my fitness adventures might be of interest to others, so I’ll start sharing some of that from time to time.
And to kick it off…
Things That Scare Me When I Run
1. Cell Phones
Actually, it’s the drivers who use them that scare me. If you’re on the phone, looking at your phone, or playing Candy Crush on your phone, you’re not looking out for me.
2. Other Runners
Guys, never pass a girl without announcing yourself if the area is isolated. It’s rude, and it could end badly, especially if she happens to be the hyper-vigilant, self-defense type. It’s bad enough to get passed, being startled and passed just adds to the insult.
I do try to announce myself when I pass people (yes, those people are usually walking). I say, “On your left.” That only works sometimes. People do not actually seem to know their left from their right. Here’s a hint: Left is that way. Right is that way.
And deer. And squirrels. Because they could be snakes. Ten miles into a run, you will not convince me that this is irrational. (And, no, you don’t need to tell me that I wouldn’t hear a snake coming. That would fall into the “not at all helpful” category.)
Especially uneven ones. A particularly vicious one took me out a couple of months back, leaving a lovely mark on my chin (and hands and knees). My first thought: “I hope no one saw that.” Second thought: “Did my auto-pause kick in?”
I had some bad geese run-ins as a child. A neighbor had very aggressive guard-geese that would chase small children that invaded their territory. I still am extremely wary along the goose-infested section of my runs. Plus, they leave an awful lot of droppings that take a little fancy footwork to avoid.
I have a good reason for this one. Remember the dog-bite run? Dogs see runners as either prey or someone up to no good. At any rate, dogs consider it their sacred duty to subdue runners quickly. They can accomplish this either with their fangs or- the preferred method of the well-bred dog- charging straight for the runner, sending her flying off the trail into the bushes. That works too.
8. Dog Owners
Dog owners do not believe #7. And they think that they have their itty-witty-pwecious dogs under perfect control. Let me help you out with a basic equation:
Length of your arm + length of the leash = your dog’s teeth sinking into my leg.
(Or your dog running straight across my feet with only slightly less painful results.)
8. And finally, this guy….
Every. Single. Time.